beat 3
Help! Fire! HELP ME? THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!
That gets rid of him.
My savior!
Enough! What was it this time?
The same.
Same stealing? Same lying? same insulting?
Same nothing.
For "nothing" you certainly get something.
He thinks if he beats me once a day I'll be properly compensated for all the crimes I commit against him that he isn't aware of.
That's compensation!?
He doesn't trust me.
He's no fool!
Say! Whose side are you on, anyway?
Me? I'm the impartial ear of reason and the nasty mouth of justice.
Today I was a saint.
A saint?
Today I didn't steal anything.
Not anything?
Not anything much.
I see.
Today I didn't insult him.
Not at all?
Hardly at all.
I see.
And I never lie!
You liar!
I mean great big lies. You know- GREAT BIIIG LIES!
Oh! GREAT BIIIG LIES!
And there's no harm in a teeny, insignificant snippet of a lie.
You're such a liar!
Nobody's perfect!
OH! My battered body cries out for vengeance!
It does, eh?
Listen.
"Vengeance! Give me vengeance!"
You're right. Your body's crying for revenge.
I have a plan.
A plan for revenge?
Yes.
Is it cunning?
Extremely.
Is it.... hateful?
Supremely.
What are the odds we'll be found out?
Fifty/fifty.
Are you sure it's HAAAATEFUL?
HAAAATEFUL! You'll love it.
Tell me.
After the old fool combs every inch of his palazzo and finds no fire, he'll come after you again....and he'll find you. Right here.
I'm a dead man!
Exactly!
This plan is /too/ hateful for my taste.
You /pretend/ you're dead.
Oh!
When he sees your body he'll fall, prostrate, in sobs of remorse.
Ooh! I like that part!
I'll tell him I saw everything, and when he ran off you died in my arms.
That's touching.
I'll tell him your dying words to me were... "Brighelle, my belovéd and devoted friend....my sole companion in...
Get on with it.
"...You have seen everything. You must tell everything! Even in death I will have vengeance. Justice will be done." He'll beg for the mercy of my silence. Ha!-Ha!-Ha!
Ha!-Ha!-Ha! Then what?
I'll tell him thst my silence in the matter will cost him dear. Only a purse of.... five hundred ducats will seal my lips!
Five hundred!? He'll drop dead. Right on the spot. He'll drop dead!!
Ha!-Ha!-Ha!
Ha!-Ha!-Ha! Then what?
Then he'll pay, of course.
And we'll split the money?
Of course.
Then what?
"Then what?" what?
The what happens to me?
To you?
To me. Remember? I'm dead!
Oh! Yes. I'll tell the old fool that I have certain sordid companions who will remove and secretly bury the evidence so no one will ever be the wiser. Then, with your two hundred ducats, ha,-ha,-ha...
Two hundred and fifty ducats, ha ha ha...
Of course. With your two hundred and fifty ducats...you can start a new life in Bergamo. A free and wealthy man.
No more beatings!
No more beatings.
I love this plan.
I knew you would. Quick now! Run to the stable and fetch a large blanket. We'll use it for a shroud to cover the body.
BODY!!? What body?
Your body, [you brute?]! The fake, dead, Harlequino body.
Oh! That "body".
Hurry! He'll be back any moment!
Revenge!
Revenge!
I love this plan.
Hurry!!
Which is a greater fool? The old fool, or the young fool?
Don't give me those looks! You knew right away that I was no saint. Besides, I need that money. All of it. To do a good deed. Did I hear a snicker out there? Don't be so quick to judge a book by...
Here's the blanket. It stinks!
You're not exactly a spring bouquet, you know!
I...
Quick!! Get under! He's coming back!
Are you sure this will work?
Of course!
What should I do?
Nothing. Don't even breathe!